Breathing Over Thin Air

Life is a wheel, as they always say. Sometimes, you get on the top of things. You feel that destiny was by your side. You are always lucky and you feel that you are favorable. You become optimistic. But then, it rotates all of the sudden. You go to the bottom. You become indecisive and you curse yourself for the twisted tale of events. You become pessimistic. Sometimes, we even have the guts to be angry with God.

 

But really, life is indefinable and God wasn’t the overall responsible for our losses. We just defined life wrong: we just saw our wrong points of view. God promised us that He will be by our side but it doesn’t necessarily mean that we should be purely dependent on Him and not work for ourselves. We don’t wait graces to fall, they just come. (But maybe they will come with a lot of prayers, perhaps.) What we do is based on the consequences of our actions. Karma: that’s the word. We shouldn’t blame others for our series of unfortunate events.

 

We should sort all our problems. I mean, we should know what really our problem is and what is not. For instance, we shouldn’t worry our debtors if they will pay us or not. That way, we get alleviated of more that half of what we think are “problems”.

 

I don’t know why I keep on telling things. I give good advices to my friends and acquaintances, but I can’t follow my own advice. I’m just making a fool out of myself. My friends have become acquaintances, and vice versa. But I really worry about that too much. Having more friends was good, but losing some is what I can’t take. I consider it as a problem even though I shouldn’t have. I don’t want to lose friends, but who wants that to happen? Perhaps, only a simpleton does! But it’s not really losing, they just won’t keep in touch, but I’m hurt if I don’t feel that I belong.

 

I experience a great jeopardy, or let’s just change the term: dilemma. I want to transfer schools. My parents thought I was influenced by my peers. My friends thought of it the other way around. I, myself, I don’t know what entered my mind and my mind flashed such thing. I really don’t know the reason. But I know that I am contended with where I am studying.

 

I live in my own world of confusion. I really don’t know where I should walk. But I’m clearing my path. And one day, I know to myself that one day I’ll see my own path and I’m going to walk down it, towards my dreams and towards my success.