8th Week (Part 2): Crush and Going Back to Real World

A/N: Pardon, this part is written in first-person point of view for maximal "efficiency" in narrating.

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I don't know. The first time I saw you was on a picture, really. I saw everything written below that face. "Another pretty face," I said to myself. I thought everything will stop until that. I was wrong.

I was shocked when I first met you. Actually, it's when "I saw you personally". You were like a star previously placed in the heavens, and now laying right before my very eyes. Your physique isn't what I really imagined, but who cares? The notion of seeing you is enough. And I thought my admiration for your beauty will stop until that. I was wrong.

It turned out to the point that I longed for looking at you. It's the point in my life that I actually feared of being into. I don't want to be a lunatic again. I don't want to lose my sanity, "I'll try to make this right," I said to myself. I'll try to maintain my composure and not to be wild.

Yes, you are my crush, I admit that. But it's not before that I'll expect too much. I'll be contended on where I am and where you are. I'll be contended that what connects you to me is a picture that a friend gave me.

Yes, being you as my crush made me feel alive again. It's been a long time that I had a crush that's not a friend of mine. As you see, I went through this time that I had crushes on my online friends. Yes, online "friends". I care about them, but they don't care about me. I felt dark. I felt I haven't received the attention that I wanted, needed. What makes you different? You don't think I exist. We won't be friends, at least for the time being. And you won't hurt me, I know. I'm no longer in the dark. I felt I'm real. I feel that I'm back to the real world.

But destiny is such a pain in the ass. I keep seeing you and your pictures more frequently. I thought that this will become the end of me. I know I'm near obsession. Surprisingly, I didn't become what I used to be. I made glances at you, yes. I got your number by "accident", yes. But I saw one of your account on one of the social sites that I have an account as well, and I didn't add you. No, I didn't force myself to stop myself from doing that. It just came naturally. I'm proud of myself for that but not that proud.

You are an intelligent person, yes. And that fact is what motivates me for studying. You may not become my friend, but I know that by studying, you can be a part of me. I can accomplish things I never imagined I can. I'm trying to become an honor student, and you are the force that drives me for doing that.

I'll be ashamed, though, if you just read this and knew that it was you.

Oh, well. Back to studying.

I AM SO IN LOVE TODAY!

My alarm clock hadn't rung yet but I was wide awake by seven. I don't know, maybe because I was just excited. Like any usual day (except for the fact that my little brother [shoti? ano daw?! 8D] doesn't have classes), I went out of the room, ate breakfast, take a nice shower, and dressed up. I wore something formal: white polo and grey pants... Hmm... Something special for the day? Naah... 8D

I went to Trinoma and did some "malling" since it was announced one bright, sunshine-y, kawaii Saturday that I won't be having my first class. First stop: Bench Fix Salon. Man, I liked my stylist! I, on some occasion, hate gays but this one talks with sense. He (or she?) taught me some hair styling tips which I appreciated. And I liked my hair. I said I wanted it to be something "Korean" but will suit me. And also, I liked it when he said I looked like a Chinese! My Chinese blood is strong after all... 8D S/He said that my hair was easy to style because I looked like a Chinese (but I wanted to look Korean... Hahaha, kidding...)

Pictures after...

Next stop: Taco Bell. I love their food but I hate it when they misspell my name. I think it is in the way I pronounce it. Some will spell: Renji, Benjie, Renchie, Denji (the last one being correct). Others will spell: Ech, Edj, Edge (the first one being horribly wrong). But, like I said, I love their food. 8D

Last stop before going to UPD: Photoline. I have my shots taken! 8D Take a look. 8D



















So there... Too bad only few of my friends noticed it. I was trying to impress, but it failed! Noooo!!! Failure! Hahaha! Kidding...

Then I went home. My mom realized I did had a haircut, and she loved it! My siblings liked it as well! w00t! I also showed them my pictures and my mom liked it the most! w00t! 8D

New Shots! New Hair!

I would like to thank Bench Fix Salon for my hair! 8D

The First [Few] Day[s] of Classes

I can’t believe that it is my third year in college. In fact, I will graduate next sem! Well, approximately…

 

Tuesday:

Math 122

~Takenouchi-sensei is kawaii… That’s it. Hahaha! No… By some blows of gale (or in other words: since I am interested in Differential Equations), I became interested in studying the course.

Physics 10

~I have to sprint from MB to New NIP to go there. We experienced difficulty in finding the room. We met Dr. Alonzo, and ate inside the room. After a while, he said that one rule is that we shouldn’t eat and drink inside the classroom. Well, except for crackers and water (I brought nachos and iced tea inside).

Koreyano 10

~Another sprinting session from New NIP to AS. Our instructor is like a typical Korean: he wore polo, pants, and a hat. And the first session gave me nosebleed.

Math 123.1

~Little did we know that this Advanced Calculus course is really an Introduction to Real Analysis course. Ma’am Roque is the laughs, believe me.

 

Wednesday:

Math 110.2

~I can’t believe Sir Basilla taught that “well”. Math 140 (one of my classes last sem: under him) is a mess. From the start of the session, I’m expecting more from Linear Algebra. Good start, indeed.

Math 150.1

~What 150.1? Where is the prof?

As Requested

Yeah... As requested by Aki, I will post this [humorous and yet] embarrasing dream of mine... It's just a dream anyway. No harm done. O_O

Remember the horny Japanese guy from my dream before [refer to my previous blog entry: The Good, The Bad, The Cute, The Ugly]? This is scary, though, because I had dreamt about him again, but this time, he did not do any "harm". We were just in my condo unit (surprisingly, I don't have one in real life). And I do mean he did not do any "harm". He just "proposed" an engagement and that I "should tell my parents". My [unconscious and mysterious] answer was that I don't want my parents to know "our relationship". Yikes!

Well, actually, that was the last part of my dream. The [gross and horrible] first part was...

I was applying yet [again] for an organization. There was another Japanese guy who just arrived at the club's... HQ? Oh, well. So he just arrived, and as I was talking heartily to Kady M. (I hid her name as Kady Malloy as to protect plagiarism. :P), I can feel him glaring at me. I just shrug it off and convinced myself he was looking at my direction (but not possibly at me: that's the Limit definition for you). He suddenly hugged me and asked "Namae wa?!" which I understood as he asking my name. Someone blurted out my name (someone said "Denji-desu"). I tried to take him off me but he grasped my shoulder, sniffed me, whispered "Ahh, Denji", and he ran his hands from my shoulder to my hands and held them. I resisted and tried to take him off. All the members and applicants were squealing [others in delight, others in disgust]. He hugged me tighter and to be released from his arms, I said, "Papasok na ako, majors ko na. [Math subject]" Obviously, someone translated that for him and apparently wanted to follow me and he wanted to be a seat-in in my class. I obviously declined but he just held and hugged me. I shrugged him off and I went away. I heard him talk to Kady and to Robbie [Carrico?] to join him in the building [Math building] while he is waiting for me ouside.

End of story.

PS: I wanted to stop blogging since HEL told us [in our English 30 class] not to since it "degrades our English". So I swore to write only sensible things at my blog. Well, I just wrote it at Aki's request. :P

The Good, The Bad, The Cute, The Ugly

Condolences to myself... Aerol died... T_T Ice killed "him"...

Now I hate my only hamster... Well, not really, but at least I recovered from the shock. And she bit my finger. Ouch!

My schoolmate from High School (Jovitte) passed the UPCAT. Congratulations! 8D

*sigh*... and the "main story line"...

January 7 is my "Valentine's Day". Why? Everything related to that thing so-called "love" happened on that day. It is actually the time I saw my morning crush for 5 minutes straight, the time I sniffed and gaped at my noon crush, and the time my afternoon crush's eyes and mine met. ^^ And before I took the bus home, I ate at Chowking, and my table number was 143. Sweet...

And this is the weirdest dream I ever had.

January 13, in the wee hours of the morning, I... well... dreamt. It was in a house in a village with my ex-housemates, este, co-apps (How I miss them and my senpai-tachi, especially... Hmmm....) And we were in a "theatre practice". I just said to some instructor I never saw in my dream that I will go out for a while, and after a while, when I returned, they were gone, except for a number of people. Saying that the program will start. At some moment after, I was in the front seat (as an audience) I saw in my left the very sexy, beautiful, and alluring Ms. Iwa Moto. ^^ To my right is a Jap guy I know. But I never knew he was "horny" (in the dream) because he kept on rubbing his rod (ooops... adult content). When I saw him at that instant, I turned my sight away from him to Iwa. Then I smiled, because it's Iwa in the first place. 8D And I was shocked, because the guy at my right (not named "for protection". LOL) Suddenly he forced me to lean down to him, he pulled my hand (to which I tried to pull back since...) and he forced my hand to rub his crotch. Ö I resisted, but he is so strong that *I dont want to put the words. T_T* and he said the words, malaki? After which I tried to sit properly but he prevented me and his hand tried to reach mine *very creepy*. Of course, I stopped him, but to no avail. He did it, and said that same word. And I heard the people at the back shouting. I was shocked! Until the shouting faded to the my pseudonym (Denji) then it fades further to silence. And then the "program" started.

Well, that was a creepy dream. I didn't stood the last part one bit. O_O

And I passed both my Math exams. ^^