I Used To Like That Boy From Physics

Electromagnetism.

I walked towards the room where the Physics lecture was being held. I saw my professor, the goddess of condensed matter, who's great at the subject but will make you snooze. But I'm more concentrated with my seatmate.

One semester before then when I last saw him. He was my classmate on the Physics class prior to this. He's cute, I said. But there's no way I can meet him. Not until that fateful semester...

He's my seatmate. I'm looking at him instead of listening to the goddess. I can smell his scent: it was so intoxicating. Every time he smiled, I smile as well. I can see the world through his small eyes, but I can't see myself in there.

We were seatmates until the end of the semester, but we never talked. I never had the courage to befriend him. I was talking to Andie [who was my classmate] and Omega [who was just sitting-in with us], not to him. I thought I did not regret not talking to him. And, at the same time, I thought I regretted not talking to him.

One year had passed, I still never saw him. Until today.

We were in the same public vehicle. He was in front of me. I half-smiled, wishing I was beside him instead. Soon, he felt asleep. On his right side is a gay who took delight of gaping at him and touching him. I saw the gay smiled while looking at the sleeping man. He leaned at the gay, unconsciously while sleeping of course. At that time, my heart is crying.

Jealousy.

Yes, jealousy. I feel bad about the scenario that I'm looking at for the next 45 minutes. I wanted to wake him up, but who am I? I am nothing to him. If I told him his name, and when he realized that I did not obtained his name directly from him, he might get angry at me. And besides, I might be disturbing his sleep.

So I bear with that scene for 45 minutes, with my heart and eyes crying secretly.

I regretted everything. I wished that I got a chance to talk to him last year. I wished that I befriended him last year.

But now he hurt me when he was sleeping,

I still like him.

But he won't know. I can't let him know. I have to control myself.

I should have at least befriended him when he was my seatmate for half a year.

I like you, Jade. I like you...

But I know we can't be together. It can't be. It's basic law of attraction: like signs repel.

Signed,
Daniel Jupiter

===

As a replacement for Daniel Jupiter: Episode 3.

Arigato, Sensei!

Turns out, this day is good. 8D

I was so sleepy this morning. I slept at 5, woke up at 6. I (or, my parents) decided that I should take up the morning exam. I haven't reviewed, really. It was so stupid of me to drink coffee during midnight. I really feel sleepy. I thought this will be the end.

I slept at the bus. Yeah, and my talent resurfaced once again: I woke up exactly at the stop where I needed to go.

Forward to the exam time. It was sensei's birthday yesterday but I don't know how to greet him. I recognized later that our exam was our sample exam! Stupid! Argh!

At the middle of the exam, sensei suddenly approached me to give a book (that was a reward for... performing good. 8D) and took pictures of... me. 8D (well, he has a purpose for that; besides, he always brings that cam of his)

After I finished the exam, I submitted my answer sheet (ie, bluebook) to the proctor (sensei went to some place that time) and waited for my friend outside. My classmate was done and my prof went to the exam room again. So my friend and I went inside the room to ask him again. My friend asked for her book and I asked something about the thank-you letter.

I said to him at the end: Otanjobi omodetou.
And he replied: Arigato!

Kawaii!!!

Then other things came, like the result of my exam in Linear Algebra. I never expected to get a high grade. 8D

Basta, this day is so good... 8D

Read This [If You Want]: Gaguhan (Feeling of Void)

IKAW, MALAWAK BA ANG UTAK MO?

Nakakainis na... Alam mo yung ganung feeling? Yung mag-isa ka na lang? Yung inaakala mong mga kaibigan mo, mga kaaway mo na pala? Nakakaasar, di ba? Oo, naasar sila sa akin, pero hindi nila sinasabi yung mga kapintasan ko ng harapan. Ngayon, panahon na nang gaguhan. Ako nalang ang mag-isa sa mundo ko ngayon. I against the world, ika nga.

Oo, tama, depressed na ako. Emo pa kung iyon ang gusto mong tawag. Pero I'm sick. Nakakainis iyong pinag-iisipan ka ng masama e ung ideya na iyon ay ni minsan hindi pumasok sa kukote ko. Nakakainis din yung mga stalker. Oo, ganun na ako ka-sikat. Madalas sisilip-silip tapos gagawan ka na ng chismis that is too farfetched.

Mailap pala ang mundo. Pag pinag-iisipan ba ng masama ang isang bakla/tomboy/bi, sexism ba ang tawag doon? Ewan ko, wala namang gender-ism.

Pinilit kong maging bukas ang aking isipan, para mas makita ko ang kagandahan ng mundo. Kaso, may mga gago na pilit ikikitid ang mga pananaw mo sa buhay. Bwisit, oo, gago nga, ayon sa isang Friendster account.

Inaapoy ako ng lagnat ngayon. Buti na lang nilalagnat ako, para hindi mapansin ng mga tao kung gaano ba talaga kasama ang pakiramdam ko. Gusto kong makipag-usap sa lahat ng taong dumaan sa buhay ko once and for all.

At since wala na yata akong kaibigan na natitira, applications will be accepted. Walk-ins are allowed. Hindi nagsasara, at hindi pagsasarhan.

Walang kwenta itong post ko na ito, di ba? Puro kagaguhan lang. Oo na, insensitive ako. Pero sabihin niyo yun sa harap ko at magbigay kayo ng instances para maayos ko ang sarili ko.

Kaya siguro napapariwara ang tao, no?

Ewan ko ba kung bakit nagbabago ang mga tao ngayon. Ginagago ka ng idol mo, imagine?

Ayokong magpariwara, dahil matino akong tao. Sariwa, birhen. Bastos man ang utak pero hindi sa plano at sa gawa. Oo, men masturbate everyday. Men wanted to have sex. Pero hindi lahat ng tao, hayok. Hindi lahat ng bakla/tomboy/bi, sex lang ang gusto sa buhay.

Ano kaya ang gagawin ko sa Monday? Syempre, papasok. Ay, baka isipin mo, gumagawa ako ng plano, baka iba na naman ang isipin mo. At wag kang feeling, marami kayong kausap ko. FOR CONTACTS ang post ko, hindi for stalkers.

Ay, sinasabihan kitang stalker? Hindi! Umaandar lang ang insensitivity ko, kagaguhan ko, at yung kakulangan ko sa grammar.

Bukas na bukas din, hindi na po ako magiging insensitive. Bukas na bukas din, hindi ako mangte-take advantage kahit di ko pa ginagawa iyon.

At magmamahal ako ng taong karapat-dapat mahalin. Magmamahal lang ako kapag may nagmamahal sa akin. Oo, mahal ko ang magulang ko at ang mga kapatid ko dahil mahal nila ako. Kung mahal mo ako, mahal din kita.

Pero, pagpasensiyahan mo na ako, huh? Wala na yata kasi akong kaibigan na pwedeng malapitan. Buti ka pa, Multiply, maasahan, kahit nabobosohan ka.

SORRY SA LAHAT NG TAONG NAKABANGGA KO, KUNG AYAW NIYO NA AKONG MAGING KAIBIGAN, FINE, DI KO KAYO PIPILITIN. DESISYON NIYO YAN. Dahil sa bokabularyo ko, ang friendship ay isa nang equivalence relation.

SORRY RIN SA IYO, KAHIT HINDI KA DAPAT MADAMAY DITO. KAILANGAN KO LANG NG OUTPUT. Itong post na ito ay para iparating sa Palasyo ng Malakanyang na ako ay may emosyon.

IKAW, MALAWAK BA ANG UTAK MO?

P.S., Oo, umiinom ako, pero hindi ako naglalasing. Mabuti kang kaibigan kapag nagawa mo akong lasingin sa inuman. Saka vacuum cleaner ako ng pulutan.

At ipakalat sa mundo na maging open-minded tayong lahat. Ito na ang huling post ko na magpapakita ng aking close-mindedness.

Ulit po, patawarin ang grammar.

Salamat sa pagbabasa ng declamation.

I thank you.

Signed,

The Knight of Wind,

Ang asawa ni Tracy Strauss,

Ang fan ni Iwa at Jewel,

Ang mukahang gago pero hindi naman,

Your friendly kapit-hood,

Ang nagmahal pero inaway at nilait,

Ang Kabayo ni Kristy Lee Cook,

Ang sinaksak sa likod,

Ang zombie,

Sila Naruto at Gaara,

Ang pang-(n+1)th na miyembro ng Super Junior,

Ang nasisiraan ng bait pero pinipilit na magpakatino,

Ang tatanggap ng mga aplikante sa posisyon na "Best Friend"

Ang coolest teen tambayan,

Ang 5th basic taste,

Aerol Celeste.

05.09.08

I AM HAPPY RIGHT NOW! This is the day I shall mark my (omicron)th existence in the world!

Yes, dear, I EXIST!!! 8D

Saranghae~... 8D <333

I AM SO IN LOVE TODAY!

My alarm clock hadn't rung yet but I was wide awake by seven. I don't know, maybe because I was just excited. Like any usual day (except for the fact that my little brother [shoti? ano daw?! 8D] doesn't have classes), I went out of the room, ate breakfast, take a nice shower, and dressed up. I wore something formal: white polo and grey pants... Hmm... Something special for the day? Naah... 8D

I went to Trinoma and did some "malling" since it was announced one bright, sunshine-y, kawaii Saturday that I won't be having my first class. First stop: Bench Fix Salon. Man, I liked my stylist! I, on some occasion, hate gays but this one talks with sense. He (or she?) taught me some hair styling tips which I appreciated. And I liked my hair. I said I wanted it to be something "Korean" but will suit me. And also, I liked it when he said I looked like a Chinese! My Chinese blood is strong after all... 8D S/He said that my hair was easy to style because I looked like a Chinese (but I wanted to look Korean... Hahaha, kidding...)

Pictures after...

Next stop: Taco Bell. I love their food but I hate it when they misspell my name. I think it is in the way I pronounce it. Some will spell: Renji, Benjie, Renchie, Denji (the last one being correct). Others will spell: Ech, Edj, Edge (the first one being horribly wrong). But, like I said, I love their food. 8D

Last stop before going to UPD: Photoline. I have my shots taken! 8D Take a look. 8D



















So there... Too bad only few of my friends noticed it. I was trying to impress, but it failed! Noooo!!! Failure! Hahaha! Kidding...

Then I went home. My mom realized I did had a haircut, and she loved it! My siblings liked it as well! w00t! I also showed them my pictures and my mom liked it the most! w00t! 8D

First Life Realization

One person said to me in an SMS:

"[...] kahit suplado ka [...]"

What does "suplado" really mean?

For all the life that I have lived, I knew this word to mean someone who literally snobs anyone. The problem, I just met this person (well, maybe I can call him a friend, but we're not close yet). So when he sent me the message (the quote was part of the whole), I realized that he means "suplado" as someone who only notices [most of his] teachers, all of his friends and relatives. Well, I'm not hurt by what he said: there is no offense done. But via what he said, he made me reflect on what my personality is.

I remembered myself before. I used to dream of becoming a celebrity. I thought smiling is not tiring. I thought all people who know you and call your name [even if you're on a comfort room] is one happy thing. But as my life goes on, this all changed. Stardom is such a pain in the ass. Philippine television is boring. And I never knew how to smile from the heart again. I've failed in love a lot of times, yet I'm still here. I managed to survive, though, but I forgot to smile. You see, if "love inflicts you pain" it leaves a scar. You may be traumatized.

Wait, what am I saying? Where in the blog world am I? Heck! The "suplado" thing! Oh, well. I think I need a personality assessment and make-over. Let's start by this question:

What things in me do you like and/or hate?

Answer with truth. Why? Because Asians tend to beat around the bush. So instead of correcting the flaw, it is being ignored.