0th Week: I Almost Forgot To Smile

My face is always frowning lately. It's like my mind transcends to another dimension. Well, my mind DOES TRANSCEND to that another dimension. I've been thinking lately: Can I be a good lover?

Anyway, let the nonsense storytelling begin.

I woke up this morning, at around seven. It's because I'll go to my dad's office (the agency he works in) to get the Philhealth form done. It's not actually my first time to go there, but the last time I went there with my dad was a long time ago. And today, I went there alone.

Anyway, I'm confident with the instructions they had given to me. I know I'll not be lost. So onboard to LRT.

Inside the train (to Carriedo Station) was when I became aware that I always frown. Then I remembered the lines:

"Smile, though your heart is breaking."

... so I thought of happy memories, then I smiled. I became happy. My spirits had lifted up. And I'm really confident with the directions my parents had given me.

So I stepped inside my dad's office with ease. No pressures in signing the form. They even mistook me for an applicant, to which I reply: "I'm the chief cook's son,"  while flashing a big smile.

So after that I rode a jeepney to SM North/Trinoma. As I look outside, just after the "Valley of FEU" (wretched roadworks >o<), I saw a group of cute Korean students, girls and boys alike. And then it hit me: I'd forgotten KOREAN! =(

Arrived at around 1 at SM, my mom sent me a message telling me to buy her medicines, to which I obliged immediately (I don't want her to be confined in the hospital). Then I ran to Bench FIX Trinoma.

There were a LOT of people on the reservation list. They wrote me on the 3:30 slot. Then I thought: I still have time to watch a movie. And what movie was it?

ONE NIGHT ONLY!

So I just went on time and left on time. The movie was hilarious, though the story was kind of narrative and chaotic. I ran again to Trinoma to have my hair done. And...

THEY MURDERED MY HAIR! I didn't like my hair that much. [will post pictures later]

As I left home, I garnered different reactions: My sister loved it. My mother hated it. My brother said I looked like an Elementary student. But at least, my hair is no longer long. (Get me?) I can now manage it easily.

How will my classmates react to my new 'do?

End of story,
Denji

8D

PS: I miss you, ***ji.

Read This [If You Want]: Gaguhan (Feeling of Void)

IKAW, MALAWAK BA ANG UTAK MO?

Nakakainis na... Alam mo yung ganung feeling? Yung mag-isa ka na lang? Yung inaakala mong mga kaibigan mo, mga kaaway mo na pala? Nakakaasar, di ba? Oo, naasar sila sa akin, pero hindi nila sinasabi yung mga kapintasan ko ng harapan. Ngayon, panahon na nang gaguhan. Ako nalang ang mag-isa sa mundo ko ngayon. I against the world, ika nga.

Oo, tama, depressed na ako. Emo pa kung iyon ang gusto mong tawag. Pero I'm sick. Nakakainis iyong pinag-iisipan ka ng masama e ung ideya na iyon ay ni minsan hindi pumasok sa kukote ko. Nakakainis din yung mga stalker. Oo, ganun na ako ka-sikat. Madalas sisilip-silip tapos gagawan ka na ng chismis that is too farfetched.

Mailap pala ang mundo. Pag pinag-iisipan ba ng masama ang isang bakla/tomboy/bi, sexism ba ang tawag doon? Ewan ko, wala namang gender-ism.

Pinilit kong maging bukas ang aking isipan, para mas makita ko ang kagandahan ng mundo. Kaso, may mga gago na pilit ikikitid ang mga pananaw mo sa buhay. Bwisit, oo, gago nga, ayon sa isang Friendster account.

Inaapoy ako ng lagnat ngayon. Buti na lang nilalagnat ako, para hindi mapansin ng mga tao kung gaano ba talaga kasama ang pakiramdam ko. Gusto kong makipag-usap sa lahat ng taong dumaan sa buhay ko once and for all.

At since wala na yata akong kaibigan na natitira, applications will be accepted. Walk-ins are allowed. Hindi nagsasara, at hindi pagsasarhan.

Walang kwenta itong post ko na ito, di ba? Puro kagaguhan lang. Oo na, insensitive ako. Pero sabihin niyo yun sa harap ko at magbigay kayo ng instances para maayos ko ang sarili ko.

Kaya siguro napapariwara ang tao, no?

Ewan ko ba kung bakit nagbabago ang mga tao ngayon. Ginagago ka ng idol mo, imagine?

Ayokong magpariwara, dahil matino akong tao. Sariwa, birhen. Bastos man ang utak pero hindi sa plano at sa gawa. Oo, men masturbate everyday. Men wanted to have sex. Pero hindi lahat ng tao, hayok. Hindi lahat ng bakla/tomboy/bi, sex lang ang gusto sa buhay.

Ano kaya ang gagawin ko sa Monday? Syempre, papasok. Ay, baka isipin mo, gumagawa ako ng plano, baka iba na naman ang isipin mo. At wag kang feeling, marami kayong kausap ko. FOR CONTACTS ang post ko, hindi for stalkers.

Ay, sinasabihan kitang stalker? Hindi! Umaandar lang ang insensitivity ko, kagaguhan ko, at yung kakulangan ko sa grammar.

Bukas na bukas din, hindi na po ako magiging insensitive. Bukas na bukas din, hindi ako mangte-take advantage kahit di ko pa ginagawa iyon.

At magmamahal ako ng taong karapat-dapat mahalin. Magmamahal lang ako kapag may nagmamahal sa akin. Oo, mahal ko ang magulang ko at ang mga kapatid ko dahil mahal nila ako. Kung mahal mo ako, mahal din kita.

Pero, pagpasensiyahan mo na ako, huh? Wala na yata kasi akong kaibigan na pwedeng malapitan. Buti ka pa, Multiply, maasahan, kahit nabobosohan ka.

SORRY SA LAHAT NG TAONG NAKABANGGA KO, KUNG AYAW NIYO NA AKONG MAGING KAIBIGAN, FINE, DI KO KAYO PIPILITIN. DESISYON NIYO YAN. Dahil sa bokabularyo ko, ang friendship ay isa nang equivalence relation.

SORRY RIN SA IYO, KAHIT HINDI KA DAPAT MADAMAY DITO. KAILANGAN KO LANG NG OUTPUT. Itong post na ito ay para iparating sa Palasyo ng Malakanyang na ako ay may emosyon.

IKAW, MALAWAK BA ANG UTAK MO?

P.S., Oo, umiinom ako, pero hindi ako naglalasing. Mabuti kang kaibigan kapag nagawa mo akong lasingin sa inuman. Saka vacuum cleaner ako ng pulutan.

At ipakalat sa mundo na maging open-minded tayong lahat. Ito na ang huling post ko na magpapakita ng aking close-mindedness.

Ulit po, patawarin ang grammar.

Salamat sa pagbabasa ng declamation.

I thank you.

Signed,

The Knight of Wind,

Ang asawa ni Tracy Strauss,

Ang fan ni Iwa at Jewel,

Ang mukahang gago pero hindi naman,

Your friendly kapit-hood,

Ang nagmahal pero inaway at nilait,

Ang Kabayo ni Kristy Lee Cook,

Ang sinaksak sa likod,

Ang zombie,

Sila Naruto at Gaara,

Ang pang-(n+1)th na miyembro ng Super Junior,

Ang nasisiraan ng bait pero pinipilit na magpakatino,

Ang tatanggap ng mga aplikante sa posisyon na "Best Friend"

Ang coolest teen tambayan,

Ang 5th basic taste,

Aerol Celeste.

First Life Realization

One person said to me in an SMS:

"[...] kahit suplado ka [...]"

What does "suplado" really mean?

For all the life that I have lived, I knew this word to mean someone who literally snobs anyone. The problem, I just met this person (well, maybe I can call him a friend, but we're not close yet). So when he sent me the message (the quote was part of the whole), I realized that he means "suplado" as someone who only notices [most of his] teachers, all of his friends and relatives. Well, I'm not hurt by what he said: there is no offense done. But via what he said, he made me reflect on what my personality is.

I remembered myself before. I used to dream of becoming a celebrity. I thought smiling is not tiring. I thought all people who know you and call your name [even if you're on a comfort room] is one happy thing. But as my life goes on, this all changed. Stardom is such a pain in the ass. Philippine television is boring. And I never knew how to smile from the heart again. I've failed in love a lot of times, yet I'm still here. I managed to survive, though, but I forgot to smile. You see, if "love inflicts you pain" it leaves a scar. You may be traumatized.

Wait, what am I saying? Where in the blog world am I? Heck! The "suplado" thing! Oh, well. I think I need a personality assessment and make-over. Let's start by this question:

What things in me do you like and/or hate?

Answer with truth. Why? Because Asians tend to beat around the bush. So instead of correcting the flaw, it is being ignored.