Oscillating Moods [read: Mood Swings]

Malas... Swerte... Malas... Swerte... Malas... Swerte...
(in English: Un... Lucky... Un... Lucky... Un... Lucky... *thunder clap*)

Apparently, I don't know how to orient myself. Imagine, I have 4 major subjects which are heck of loads, I am trying to get a scholarship, I am trying to learn Korean language, and I am trying to gear up my future.

Nothing. Nothing goes into my head right now. So WARNING: this is to become a senseless post.

I've been thinking lately: I'm pwned in this so-called "lovelife". Before, I badly needed one. Now? Nah, I haven't experienced having a partner yet but I'm starting to "quit it". Desperate measures calls for desperation.

I'm trying my darn best to concentrate on the academic side of life, but I'm easily tempted by the "Intarwebz" and by Silmeria [Valkyrie Profile 2, that is]. I haven't forseen my end yet, but if this lack of focus goes on then doomsday is sure to come.

3 years ago, I'm on the top of the mountain. Now, I'm on the depths of the ocean.

I need Heroes 3 right now... T_T

The more you hate (The more you backstab?!), the more you love.

I miss Wednesdays-off.

Hold me, love me. Ain't got nothing but love, babe. Eight days a week.

~Kristy Lee Cook, Eight Days a Week, American Idol 7

I need your love. I need your love. Godspeed your love to me.

~Kellie Pickler, Unchained Melody, American Idol 5

I don't want to close my eyes. I don't want to sleep. Coz I miss you, babe. And I don't want to miss a thing.

~David Cook, I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing, American Idol 7

Who wants to live forever? Who dares to love forever? When love must die?

~Kady Malloy, Who Wants to Live Forever, American Idol 7

Forever... You will always be the only one.

~Kristy Lee Cook, Forever, American Idol 7

and to end with something corny...

Matalino man ang matsing, tao naman ako. 8D

~some Filipino proverb modified due to the insanity of the author

P.S.

You can't do that.

~Amanda Overmyer, You Can't Do That, American Idol 7

06/07/08 Blahs

Yet another not-so-exciting day.

This noon, I asked my li’l bro if he wanted to go to the movie house today [he wanted to watch Urduja]. Initially, he said no because of a certain Religion subject reflection notebook [or whatever you call it]. So I asked my mom and my sis instead if they wanted to watch Monster Mom. They agreed and they dressed up. Just as when they were finished, my bro claimed he just finished his work and he now wanted to hit the movie house. I told him that Urduja may not be showing now since it’s been released weeks before, so I asked him to watch Monster Mom just in case. He’s fine with it. My mom and sis then decided to go to my aunt’s house instead.

We were at the mall, then. As I suspected, Urduja won’t be viewed. So my bro and I bought tickets for Monster Mom. I asked him to eat first. We ate ramen and maki. It was his first time to eat such and he enjoyed the meal so much. After we were done, we headed to the box office and entered inside to watch the film. There were a lot of people so we sat at the balcony. 8D I am dearly irritated by the people beside me. They are cheap, annoying people [read: they mock Ruffa Gutierrez’s every other word, and it’s irritating]! And, oh, Monster Mom was the laughs but it has a flat storyline.

So there, we went home.

And, oh, by the way, before we ate ramen and maki, I bought a PS2 CD! Yay! Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria! I played the game after we ate dinner at home.

Sensitivity is the key.

Apparently, I knew what was one of the things that doesn't fit right: my insensitivity.

Sorry, but unlike previous blog entries, I am not willing to tell that incident as my half-life was already set and I was decaying (in Tagalog: nanliliit na ako sa hiya).

I feel heavy. I wanna sleep.

First Life Realization

One person said to me in an SMS:

"[...] kahit suplado ka [...]"

What does "suplado" really mean?

For all the life that I have lived, I knew this word to mean someone who literally snobs anyone. The problem, I just met this person (well, maybe I can call him a friend, but we're not close yet). So when he sent me the message (the quote was part of the whole), I realized that he means "suplado" as someone who only notices [most of his] teachers, all of his friends and relatives. Well, I'm not hurt by what he said: there is no offense done. But via what he said, he made me reflect on what my personality is.

I remembered myself before. I used to dream of becoming a celebrity. I thought smiling is not tiring. I thought all people who know you and call your name [even if you're on a comfort room] is one happy thing. But as my life goes on, this all changed. Stardom is such a pain in the ass. Philippine television is boring. And I never knew how to smile from the heart again. I've failed in love a lot of times, yet I'm still here. I managed to survive, though, but I forgot to smile. You see, if "love inflicts you pain" it leaves a scar. You may be traumatized.

Wait, what am I saying? Where in the blog world am I? Heck! The "suplado" thing! Oh, well. I think I need a personality assessment and make-over. Let's start by this question:

What things in me do you like and/or hate?

Answer with truth. Why? Because Asians tend to beat around the bush. So instead of correcting the flaw, it is being ignored.

I Will Be a Masochist, But I AM NOT a Masochist [yet]

I realized I can't finish my undergraduate course in three-and-a-half years. Well, theoretically, I can. But later, I came to my senses that I will pass out if I enroll next semester in full load. In short, I will [?] finish my degree on time [i.e., not in advance].

And, oh, if I changed my mind again, I will spend the rest of the months, before I graduate, "taking up Culinary Arts with my mom as my professor and Professional Driving with my dad as my professor".

Rants...

Ok. So I just found out that my crush enrolled in ADMU and not in UPD. So, it's "sad", and I can't do some stalking on my last year as an undergrduate. T_T

Recently, life has been boring. I wonder why the things in life that I like don't "last" that much. Maybe, madali akong magsawa.

I'll study hard on Math from now on (I've been telling this myself for 2 years but I'm really serious this time. Swear.), now that I've found some "encouragement". Problem is, I don't know where to work after I finished all my required units.

Basically, I now need a scholarship. Darn Philippine economy. Fuck you. Even if you can't be physically cursed, still, fuck you.

I think I'm experiencing bad karma. I've been "bad" this past few years. I mean it (pun slightly intended).

The First [Few] Day[s] of Classes

I can’t believe that it is my third year in college. In fact, I will graduate next sem! Well, approximately…

 

Tuesday:

Math 122

~Takenouchi-sensei is kawaii… That’s it. Hahaha! No… By some blows of gale (or in other words: since I am interested in Differential Equations), I became interested in studying the course.

Physics 10

~I have to sprint from MB to New NIP to go there. We experienced difficulty in finding the room. We met Dr. Alonzo, and ate inside the room. After a while, he said that one rule is that we shouldn’t eat and drink inside the classroom. Well, except for crackers and water (I brought nachos and iced tea inside).

Koreyano 10

~Another sprinting session from New NIP to AS. Our instructor is like a typical Korean: he wore polo, pants, and a hat. And the first session gave me nosebleed.

Math 123.1

~Little did we know that this Advanced Calculus course is really an Introduction to Real Analysis course. Ma’am Roque is the laughs, believe me.

 

Wednesday:

Math 110.2

~I can’t believe Sir Basilla taught that “well”. Math 140 (one of my classes last sem: under him) is a mess. From the start of the session, I’m expecting more from Linear Algebra. Good start, indeed.

Math 150.1

~What 150.1? Where is the prof?