Heartbeat Moment

You’re standing on your own two feet… Scared of what will happen next… You will hear a very familiar sound… And it goes louder and louder… And you will realize, you can’t breathe… You are slowly drowning in your own tensions… You’ll get butterflies in the stomach later on. Then the sound that you hear… That is your own heartbeat…

 

“Mamâ, para po!” (Sir, please halt there!)

 

I dismounted the jeepney from Pantranco and walked towards Rizal Hall (known before as College of Arts and Letters, but now popular as Faculty Center). I am to get my class cards, for the university released them just now. I already knew my grades of my three out of five subjects thanks to the “Grades Viewing” at the Computerized Registration System (CRS). The two subjects that I never knew my unofficial grade were those that I haven’t performed well… So I climbed first to the third floor of the building towards the Department of Philosophy, then to the Department of Speech Communication and Theater Arts. As expected, my grades in the class card were those that I have viewed online. Afterwards, I went down to the second floor to the Departamento ng Kasaysayan (Department of History). That is one of the subjects I think I fail. Then, the heartbeat moment… But later I knew that our professor at the subject hasn’t released our grades and she will do so at two o’clock in the afternoon. So I proceed getting my other class cards and went to the College of Science Main Building. By the entrance, I went under trance by what I saw: the registration process… the one-day registration period. When I went into myself again, I now walked to get my class card. It’s OK as it seems. So I headed to the Department of Mathematics, colloquially called as Math Building. I went up three stories (again) and headed to my professor’s office. I saw a long line of students who are to get their class cards (but our class is to get ours from our professor). To my surprise, I saw one of my classmates waiting (and whining?). He said to me that our professor will release it by eleven thirty. I peeked at my watch and saw that it is ten thirty. Hearing what he said, I plugged my ears with my MP3 player and waited. As time passes, some of my classmates are arriving. Then the time has come: we rushed towards the door of the professor’s office. He exclaimed to us that he was pressured by our presence and ordered us to view first our grades by his window then come to him by pairs to get the class cards. Then the heartbeat moment again… I slowly walked towards the said window to see my grade. The students in the table of grades were in numerical order, so I knew that mine was at the top, being the excited applicant number 00035. To my surprise, I saw my grade: 2.5! I said to my classmates “Whoa! I love myself!” being the happy student that passed the subject that I thought I will fail. (If I failed this subject, by the way, I will take this again.) I got my class cards afterwards. Then I eavesdropped some of my classmates self-proclaiming that they were “College Scholars” (the monsters who got an average above 1.75, as the “University Scholars” are the monster bosses with average above 1.45). Argh! I felt so insecure! The “rage” that was built up inside me (for not qualifying as a “Scholar” due to “low” grades) just converted afterwards as an encouragement to do better. One problem, cancelled! I ate lunch at Philcoa for all canteens at the university were closed at to waste my time as well. After I was finished, I went straight back to the university and returned to the Departamanto ng Kasaysayan to check if my professors have submitted the class cards. I was right, because I saw her name now at the professors with available class cards. Then the heartbeat moment again… I was brewed by a lot of questions… I plugged my ears again in my player and waited again… Then the door swung open. “Are you all waiting for class cards?” Then a line was suddenly formed… It was my turn and entered the door. The coldness inside me was accompanied by the air condition of the room…

 

“Prof Gripaldo… TFU5… I’m Lumidao…”

 

I was so startled by what I saw… 2.25! I passed! Thank God! I rejoiced, for I survived the first semester in the university! The heartbeat moment now perished, and I breathed easily now… Nightmare over…