Next: Convergence (DROPPED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE)
A/N:
12. There is sensitive [read: rape] scene here. Do not read if you are under 123 years of age, unless you have a supervision of an adult. Kidding.
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Episode 5: Divergence
"Just as we lose our way, remember to look above and pray. Because sometimes, if we continue to stroll, we will never reach our final destination."
Is it love?
Vic asked this to himself a lot of times as he walked home. And then, he tried to convince himself that Mark's power is just affecting him, hence the attraction. But why now, when they were together a lot of times?
"VIIIIIC!!!"
Vic suddenly looked back. His heart skipped a few beats. He ran fast. Really, really fast. He arrived at the spot where he left Mark. From there, he noticed a black van rampaging away. His vision passed through the van. In there, he saw an unconscious Mark and guys in tuxedo and shades. He tried to run again. Unknowingly, he superspeeds again.
He is gaining speed. He is so close to the back of the van, when it suddenly took a sharp turn. Vic suddenly tripped and became too weary.
The van went inside an empty warehouse. All of the guys went down and they carried Mark. When he woke up, he realized that he has been kidnapped. He tried to run away but the guys surrounded him. He knew he can't run away easily this time so he tried to seduce the guys using his abilities so that they can let him go. But everything did not turn out well.
Two guys held his arms and two guys held his legs. Another guy held his face and kissed him with force. He tried to resist but he can't handle the guys who are now raping him. The guys by his arms caressed his chest and tried to remove his shirt. The guys by his legs rubbed his thighs and his behind. The guy kissing him tries to remove his clothing as well. Mark cries as he can't do nothing. He saw Vic arrive at the warehouse. Vic charged his way but the other guys stopped him. Suddenly, a booming voice echoed in the warehouse and prompted all the guys to stop.
Two shadow figured emerged. Their identities were shown by the light. Mark is shocked by what he saw.
"I told you only to capture our son, not to rape him!"
Mark cried further, realizing that his parents were behind the kidnapping. Mark's mother tried to hugged him but he shooed her away.
"What have you done, ma?"
"Oh, don't cry. We only came here for what we need."
Vic suddenly shouted the word Pinehearst. Mark noticed the pin on his parents' collar.
"Yes, boy. How intelligent of you."
"I know Pinehearst. Two guys tried to abduct us?"
"Abduct? Aaah... Elle... She's such a failure. Why, are you special, too? Just like my son?"
Mark was even more shocked by what he found out. Vic suddenly got loose and he vanished into thin air, only to appear beside Mark, who now hugged him.
"Oh. You can change probabilities, find people everywhere, follow them at top speed. Now you can teleport? We badly need you, as we badly need our son."
The two tried to run, but they were easily captured. Vic was dragged away from Mark, who was being raped again.
Everything came sense to Vic. His tears rolled. He struggled to get away.
Suddenly, more vans arrived at the warehouse.
"Primatech!" hissed Mark's mother.
===
A/N:
13. Mark's shouting Vic's name is actually a mental scream as Mark really didn't shout. Hearing thoughts is also a byproduct if Vic's power, where others include superhuman speed, teleportation, superhuman vision and probability alternation.
14. This episode is pretty short. The next episode will be the last, and I shall present two endings there.
Previous: Limits
Next: Convergence (DROPPED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE)
I feel a little troubled with this sentence. It kinda kills the tension and suspense. Maganda yung pagkaka-establish mo ng tension sa scene, pero ang out of place lang ng sentence na ito
ReplyDeleteso i built up tension, suspense, AND TROUBLE. :P
ReplyDeletehahaha...add more tension, coz that's gonna be your spice. I like the fluid flow of events. very good flow. (why am I speaking like this?! I'm a film critic, not a literary critic! anyway...) and use more adjectives so that the readers can fully imagine the scene.
ReplyDeleteJust a question. How the heck did Vic gain all those powers?!? Don't tell me that is part of his 'power description'. That better be no like Peter...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, too lazy to review. Lambasting will be done in a not very near future.
oh, shoot. my bad. i forgot to re-establish everything here! ToT
ReplyDeleteit should go like this: every time his power is activated... well... remember the black scene with green mesh lines? the unique thing that was established by ep02?
oohhh....hala...ulet ulet! and use more adjectives friend!
ReplyDeletehindi. i'll tie-up everything sa last part. i thought of something na hindi xa magmumukhang hasty. and, yes, i do need adjectives at that point.
ReplyDeleteI read your most recent post. And I decided to post a review. It is my joy to help masochists, you know. Hehehe.
ReplyDeleteThe storyflow is better. However, as Regina as mentioned, the episode lacked description. Adjectives are your friends. You have to use them, but don't overuse. They can also bring you down. If possible use active not passive sentences. It will be more effective. Keep sentences short. Use more epic words.
I really have the problem with the rape scene. I could not relate to Vic. I cannot feel the fear he was going through. I hardly felt the commotion going on in the scene. And regarding Vic, I could not feel his panic when Mark was abducted. This chapter didn't quite played well with his emotions.
Lastly, avoid using the word rape. It's not very poetic. Describe the situation instead. "His heart skipped a few beats" is not very appropriate for the scene. maybe it should be something like "He stood, shocked. It took Vic a few seconds to bring himself back to reality."
Too lazy to think. Maybe if I feel like it later, I'll continue it. Ja-na! 8D
kai, i-review mo na lahat ng pwede mong i-review. mukhang matatagalan bago ako makapag-sulat muli...
ReplyDelete