Sunday, November 30, 2008

Heroes: Abstract (E03)

Previous: Differentiability
Next: Limits

===

Episode 3: Integrability

"All things are hard to build but easy to destroy. Fixing even takes more time. But sometimes, starting over is not the best solution. Sometimes, we have to resolve to mending. Piece by, piece, we have to reassemble."

Vic told Mark that it's already safe, but he's aware of the person outside. As they go out, he pretended he didn't notice her presence when she suddenly halted them.

"Hey you!"

Vic and Mark both turned around. They saw a girl with long, blond hair, smiling at them.

"So, are you Vincent Lee?"
"Yes?"
"... and Marcus Anderson?"
"Uh-huh. Why?"
"My name is Elle. Elle Woods. Nice to meet you."

Shaking of hands. Mark is smiling but Vic senses trouble. The woman emanates a fake smile.

"So what's the deal?" purred Mark.
"I'd like to congratulate you since you were accepted in our scholarship program."
"Scholarship?" doubted Vic.
"Yes. Your school sent a list of students for the program. You are two of the lucky ten students who were granted the scholarship."
"Under what institution?"
"Yamagato Industries. Your papers are ready."
"Why not do this talk at the administrative office?"

Silence. Cold stares were thrown at each other. Suddenly, a tall man appeared behind the woman. He keeps on staring at them. Vic suddenly held Mark's hand.

"Why aren't they sleeping yet?"
"I don't know why my abilities won't work!"

They suddenly pulled up their guns. Vic ran away, dragging Mark like earlier. The woman shot Mark at his leg with perfect accuracy. They both tripped. Mark wailed in pain. Vic carried Mark in his arms. The woman aimed her gun at Vic. She shot him but the bullet failed to land on him. Taking advantage, Vic ran in haste. The woman then got her taser and tried to shot Vic but she missed again. The man tried to riddle him with bullets but not even a single shot landed on him. The woman suddenly stopped him, claimed him that they wanted both of them alive. As the couple ran, the man handed the woman a two-tabbed folder. One is labeled "PHEROMONE EMISSION" while the other is "???"

Vic passed though everyone at school and rushed Mark to the nearest private hospital.

Minutes passed. The doctors said that Mark is now okay and can be released tomorrow morning. Vic entered the room where Mark is. He sat beside him when Mark touched his hand.

"I wanted to tell you something."
"What is it?"
"You know that I'm okay now, right?"
"Yes. I don't know what they want from us. Our lives are now in danger. Mark, we have to-"

Mark pulled Vic and kissed him on the lips. Vic suddenly pulled away, staring at him with his now large eyes.

"I wanted to tell you that I love you. I want you to know this because I'm afraid that the next time, I might get killed."

Vic looked away from Mark, staring from afar.

"Don't you love me?"
"Of course I do, you know that."
"But only as a friend."

Silence.

"I don't know what to answer."
"You don't want to love me because you think it's forbidden?"
"NO! It's just-"

Vic stopped and looked at the door. Mark showed a worried face. Vic can hear the footsteps. Suddenly, his vision passed through the walls, and he can the see the two people walking in the corridor, asking the nurses that they passed by. He was so scared when the two forcefully made their way while a nurse was stopping them. He was really scared when those two reached the door. He saw the door opened. But what he saw on the door is a dark, dirty shack with a rotten chair and table. The door closed again, then the same nurse entered the room and was shocked by what she saw.

"Did two impatient-looking people entered here?"
"Uh... I was about to ask the same thing."
"Come again, sir?"
"Oh, never mind."

At the opposite side of the world. those two went out of a shack. They realized that they were in the middle of a farm. The woman screamed, frantically throwing tantrums.

The nurse got out of the room, leaving Vic and Mark in their privacy.

"I want you beside me until I die."

Mark hugged Vic and they shared a warm, passionate kiss. After a minute, Vic pulled away.

"You need to rest. I think you're just scared. You better sleep, I'll just be there on the desk."

Mark looked at Vic, teary-eyed; while Vic looked at the window, thinking of all the things that are happening to them.

The next day, after Mark was released, Vic and he talked in a coffee shop. Everyone is still looking at Mark.

"I wanted to tell you something."
"About yesterday? Forget it. I accept that you don't feel the same way."
"No, not about it."

Vic flashed two airplane tickets.

"We are going to Japan. I guess we can find answers there."
"So you love me!?"
"... It's about those two guys pursuing us yesterday. I thought that this might be some scam or something, but Yamagato Industries are unheard of here in the Philippines."
"So?" Mark grumpily answered.
"My parents work there. I asked them to excuse us from school. Everything has been negotiated."
"But how? Now that everyone there is head over heels obsessed with me."
"I don't know their strings but what's more important is that we can go to Japan now."
"How about my parents?"
"That has been taken care of as well."

Vic almost held Mark's hand. When Mark saw this, Vic pulled his hand back and just smiled.

Narita International Airport. Tokyo, Japan.

Vic and Mark were welcomed by a group of men in tuxedo. They fetched them to a condominium unit. Inside the unit, they were met by Vic's parents.

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Vic-kun."
"Ohayo gozaimas, Otosan. Genki desu ka?"
"Genki desu. Come, sit, both of you. I never knew it will come to this."
"Huh? What do you know?"
"What were those two wearing?"
"Huh? Uh... Black, like them."
"Any distinguishing objects?"
"Well, I observed a double-helix pin."
"Pinehearst," whispered Mr. Lee.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing. I guess Nakamura Kimiko-san can explain things to you."
"Why her? She's... scary."
"You'll know why. A car will fetch you later. We'll call you when they get here."
"Domo arigato."
"And you," Mr. Lee asked Mark, "What's your name?"
"Marcus Anderson. Please call me Marcus. Or Mark, if you please."
"Okay, Mark. Enjoy your stay here."
"Thank you, sir. "

When they were alone, Vic noticed an unusual coldness from Mark. He tried to tap his shoulder but Mark suddenly moved. There was a spirit of loneliness flowing into Vic.

"We can get answers tomorrow."
"Sure. Where shall I sleep now? Here on the sofa?"
"You can sleep beside me as always."

Silence.

"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just wake me up when they're here."

Mark lied on the bed. Vic just looked at him first, then he gave himself a bottle of beer from the refrigerator, crying. Shortly, the phone rang. Mark knew he had to get out of the bed.


===

A/N:
4. Now that it was revealed that they had abilities, can you guess who has what ability?
5. It wasn't my original intention to have this "homosexual pairing". So if I haven't forewarned you earlier [in case you have different views in life], forgive me. ToT
6. Surprisingly, this mini-series can take up to 7 episodes! Yikes!
7. I'm not really a writer. So grammatical errors abound. 8D

Previous: Differentiability
Next: Limits

13 comments:

  1. Be prepared for Aki-chan's review...This is for the three 'episodes'.

    I will not critic the grammar that much since you acknowledged in your author's note. But, keep in mind to use the same tense for all verbs. Parallelism.

    Now for the story.

    I think this would make a good fanfiction of heroes. However, in the first chapter, I couldn't find or get a hint of what the major conflict could be. It was only in the third episode that I had an overview of the conflict. It became a typical shounen-ai plot. So, the first two chapters were kind of dragging for me.

    Also, the scene transitions were so abrupt. I was having a hard time analyzing the scene transition...to some point there was hardly any flow. There was also hardly any imagery. I couldn't feel the character's emotion and I had a hard time imagining the scene. You were telling the reader what happened. You should make the reader feel that he/she is in the story.

    Piece of advice only put dialogue when the character says something quotable. Cut episodes around cliffhangers. Use describing words. Describe the characters. Use 'epic' or 'emotional' words. Regarding scene transitions, if you can't describe the next scene cut in with a dashed line.

    By the way, I love the introductory quotes.

    -Aki-chan

    ReplyDelete
  2. thanks.
    1. im sorry i used the season 2 style where the chars have a long intro.
    2. im not really used to writing so thanks for the dashed line-thingy
    3. i thought narrative style was effective. i'll try to practive the descriptive style. ^^
    4. i have a hard time with parallelism. i'll try to practice.

    rest assured all the guidelines will be followed in OVERSOUL. :)
    thanks again. :)

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  3. On the contrary, the new characters of the almost dealt with their problems. Their introduction was immediately their problem. Furthermore, the most of the characters were introduced in season one, so no further description was needed.

    I'm relieved that you have taken my critique positively. I look forward to reading more of your fics! 8D

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  4. Elle Woods lang ha? nyahahahahaha....dumb blonde...joke!

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  5. I wasn't able to absorb your reply before....nasa mb127 kasi ako kanina.

    Regardless of your writing being descriptive or narrative, the fiction should still 'describe'. Dapat ramdam na ramdam ang mga nangyayari sa characters. Descriptive or narrative won't make a difference. What is important is to hook the readers making them not just see but feel what is exactly happening to the characters.

    Of course, that is just in my opinion. And there are many expections to the rule...

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  6. Narrative meaning everything is supposed to be scriptwriting. Well, I'll be changing that if that is "for the better".

    ReplyDelete
  7. the problem of season 2 was the slow progress of the story. if i compare it to mine, the conflict was introduced here but i was trying to say that there was a problem even at the beginning. i think i wasn't just effective in "delivery".

    and i do take critiques positively. pag hitsura ko na-critique mo, ibang usapan na yan. :P

    ReplyDelete
  8. if you are a viewer of Heroes Season 2, you will understand why I gave her the pseudonym Elle Woods.

    ReplyDelete
  9. so you better watch now or you better cry. :P

    ReplyDelete
  10. okay okay...tatapusin ko na ang season 1

    ReplyDelete